if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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