I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
