Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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