There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
