I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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