maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
it glows. i had to have it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
