My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
