4 words: hood of his car
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
