Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize