Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
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