My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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