i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
