How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
