so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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