Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
