Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
