oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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