i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
