Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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