Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
