dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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