Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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