I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
