Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
