We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
