can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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