She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
