Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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