I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
