he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
