....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
