Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize