the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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