Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
