Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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