Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
