I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
