real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
