I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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