physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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