im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
