belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
