Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
