please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize