I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
