That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
