Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize