i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
