if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
dude. I can hear the air.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
