Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize