you mean i was at the winter classic?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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