I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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