HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
