Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
