Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
