It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
whose ass print is on the piano?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
