We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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