This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
