There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
