I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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