Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
