White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
