Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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