Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize