YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
