I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
