Your face is a jimmy john
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
