so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
