So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Rumble strips road head = magical
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
