dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
